I accidentally had phone sex last night
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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