Soap is not a condiment
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my sisters under your porch take her home
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
