Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
