if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
