I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
