better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
