I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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