OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
