ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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