I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Idk if I want to put a bra on
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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