my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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