If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
