fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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