if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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