Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
