i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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