What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize