Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
