Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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