Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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