I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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