I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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