I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
