It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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