he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
