then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
