laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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