"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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