why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
