I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
