my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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