It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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