i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize