What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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