So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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