Do vagina's smell?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
