too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My ATM looks so different sober.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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