Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
