The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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