I want to have your abortion
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
