ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I skipped work to stalk him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i've created a new STD.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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