Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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