I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
