she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
