for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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