Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party

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(703): View more from Virginia

well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too

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(760): View more from California

If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now

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(303): View more from Colorado

Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.

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(817): View more from Texas

Hey do you remember me?

(903): View more from Texas

You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.

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