my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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