god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
