dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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