Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
