I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
3 2 1 whiskey
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
