i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
