I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
