hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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