You're my little dorito
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
