The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
