You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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