Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
