I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize