We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
