May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
