you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
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did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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