I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
