So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
