Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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