so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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