i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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