I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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